Stuck with you
by BMShipper
Summary: Sequel to 'Silent Tears' and it refers to scenes that happened in that one, so you should probably have read that one beforehand. Ryan and Mike have shared a gentle moment and it confuses Ryan big time, and then there's also Carrie Cooke, and there is Max who Ryan is jealous of all of a sudden, so he needs to talk to Mike about it, things happen!


**A/N: **So… since so many people asked for a sequel for "Silent Tears", I couldn't say "no" anymore and started writing. And it got a bit out of hand and way longer than I planned… and of course I hope you like it. I'm completely ignoring canon in this case – just for your information – because in my story Claire is dead and she's going to stay dead. However, I did use some parts that really happened in the show, some conversations and scenes.

Thanks to my beta-reader for your great help! I'm glad I have you to read over my story before I post it! =)

And now, enjoy reading, everyone! I hope it is what you imagined. Comments make me happy, so if you did like it, it would be nice to leave a few words! =)

**Stuck with you**

Ryan unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in. Looking around for a moment he assumed he was alone, since he didn't hear anything. Mike was probably out somewhere, and Max had gone home. But if Ryan was honest, he was glad that no one was here, because he really needed a moment to himself.

His conversation with Dr. Strauss had affected him more than he had let on. A lot of the things the guy had said to him couldn't be dismissed. It was a fact that Ryan had developed an unhealthy obsession with Joe Carroll. It was also quite true that he had started working as a teacher because Joe had been one. He had wanted to understand the man Joe Carroll better, had wanted to know what had been going on in Joe's head back then.

"_Did you know that one of the many traits of a psychopath is to mirror another's behaviour? You have no life of your own, so you copy someone else's."_

Ryan couldn't deny that this doctor's words had made him think, even though they shouldn't. He knew it was stupid to let this guy get under his skin like that, because he didn't know shit about him. Yes, Ryan's main goal in life was to finally catch Joe Carroll and get revenge for Claire's death, but now there was also something else, or rather someone. Someone no one knew about. Mike. And Ryan rather wanted it to stay that way, because he wasn't willing to put Mike's life in jeopardy again. It was a fact that being close to Ryan put everyone in danger, and if someone found out that Mike and he were more than just friends it would plaster a huge target on Mike's back.

And maybe there wasn't even something to tell anyway. Ryan wasn't sure what exactly was going on between him and Mike. Not anymore. They hadn't figured that out yet.

The night after Lilly had killed Mike's father they had shared an intense moment, a kiss Ryan couldn't get out of his head. Only thinking about it made his heart flutter. Mike had fallen asleep in his arms afterwards. The next morning when Ryan had opened his eyes he had still been there, snuggled against his chest. It had been awkward for a moment when Mike had woken up, but then they had kind of fallen back into their routine and acted as if nothing had ever happened.

And it hadn't for about a week. Not until the evening of the funeral.

Lying down on the couch Ryan closed his eyes and, without being able to stop it, the memories of that night came flooding back into his mind.

_Mike had asked Ryan to spend the night here and of course Ryan couldn't say no to the guy. Not in his state of mind. Besides, Ryan really wanted to be there for him, just like he had promised him the night his father had died. And so did Max obviously, because she had decided to stay here too, and the two of them had built some kind of night's lodging. Max had taken over the couch while Mike had tried to find a more or less comfortable position on one of the armchairs. It didn't look very relaxing and Ryan felt a little bad for Mike. Nevertheless, when Ryan offered Mike to sleep in his bed Mike rejected, telling Ryan that he didn't want to cause him any trouble._

_So Ryan finally accepted Mike's decision and – after checking his office once more –went to bed. Falling asleep wasn't that easy with all those thoughts in his head, and Ryan's concern for Mike was stronger than ever. He had watched him today during the burial and especially afterwards. Mike's whole family had been there and still Mike had stood there lost and alone. It had broken Ryan's heart in a million pieces, but there had been nothing he could have done for him. Nothing, besides letting him know that he was there for him should he need him._

_Ryan had no idea how long he had laid in his bed staring at the ceiling but at some point he must have fallen asleep. Not for long, though, because all of a sudden he could hear footsteps and a moment later the mattress was dipping under the weight of someone crawling into his bed. At first Ryan wasn't sure if any of this was really happening or if he was dreaming, but then he felt the warmth of another body radiating over to him. When he turned around he looked directly at Mike, even though he barely saw him in the darkness of the room._

"_You okay?" Ryan asked whispering, just watching him cautiously._

"_No," Mike admitted. He slid closer to Ryan and then his hand was reaching out, touching Ryan's hip. "I… I don't want to be alone out there."_

"_What about Max?" Ryan wanted to know, biting his lower lip. It took all of his willpower not to lunge forward and pull Mike into his arms, but he didn't want to scare him away. If Mike wanted him to hold him he would say so. Because he knew he could._

"_She's asleep," Mike gave back. "And even though I appreciate her staying here, she's not… she's not who I need right now."_

_Ryan had to swallow at that remark. "Then who is?" he asked, even though the answer to that question was pretty obvious. Mike wouldn't be here, in his bed, if there was someone else he rather wanted to spend the night with._

"_You," Mike replied regardless._

_Before Ryan knew what was happening Mike was pressed against his chest and his lips found Ryan's in a desperate manner. Ryan couldn't control the languorous shiver running down his spine and his arms wrapped around Mike's body, pulling him even tighter. His desire for Mike reawakened, stronger than ever. He wanted nothing more than for this to happen. He wanted to go through with it, wanted to be close to Mike, but there were at least two things that kept him from letting go: Mike was still hurting and the fact that Max was right outside of this room. Mike hadn't even closed the door when he had walked in and she could wake up any second. She could hear them or worse, see them, and Ryan had no idea how he could or would explain something he didn't understand himself._

_Mike had turned Ryan's whole world upside down with that very first kiss they had shared. All of his life Ryan had been sure that he was straight as an arrow. He had never been even remotely interested in any guy before and now he was seriously questioning his sexual orientation. Because of one kiss; one very great kiss. Ryan would even call it one of the best kisses he had ever shared with someone. He wasn't sure if that made him gay or bisexual or whatever, but he had never been a fan of putting a label on something good anyways. Whatever it was, being with Mike made him feel alive again, and he didn't want to lose it. But he also didn't want to take advantage of Mike's pain._

_So he finally pulled away, placing both of his hands on Mike's cheeks._

"_As much as I want to, you're still hurting."_

"_But I'm better," Mike tried to convince him, moving his face towards Ryan's again. "Believe me, I want this. Nothing has changed since we first kissed." His nose touched Ryan's and his hot breath on Ryan's face made his skin tingle in anticipation. "You promised if I still feel like that in a couple of days we'd give it a try," Mike whispered._

_Ryan let out a shaky breath. Mike's body was so close to his that he could feel his heartbeat against his chest. Their lips were almost touching, their faces mere inches apart. With every second it became harder for Ryan to resist him, because it wasn't what he wanted. He knew it was the right thing to do, though._

"_I can't, Mike."_

"_So it's you that changed his mind. You don't really want this, you don't want me and you're using some lame excuses to get away from me," Mike assumed. Within seconds the warmth of his body was gone and he was sliding off the bed, making Ryan curse under his breath._

"_That's not true!" he gave back, jumping up and managing to grab Mike's arm before he could leave the room. Without much effort he pulled him back, taking him into his arms._

"_Let go of me," Mike demanded, the pain and disappointment evident in his voice. He struggled to get out of Ryan's grip, but Ryan just held him tighter._

"_Not until you listen to me," Ryan whispered. He was scared to wake up Max if they were too loud, so he pushed the door shut. One of his hands reached out for the light switch and even though the brightness was blinding him in the first moment, it was worth it. Because now he was able to look into Mike's eyes. And Mike looked right back at him._

"_You're wrong, Mike," Ryan finally broke the silence that had formed between them. "If you really think I don't want you, you don't know a damn thing about me."_

"_Then why are you turning me down? Again! Is it because I'm a guy?" Mike asked with a hurt look._

_It took a lot of self-control for Ryan not to roll his eyes, but he knew Mike was in a bad place right now emotionally, and that he needed to be patient with him._

"_If that were the case I would have told you the first time you kissed me. You should know that I'm not the person to lead someone on if I don't feel anything. You can trust me."_

"_But I'm really better now, Ryan," Mike tried to convince him. "I know what I'm doing."_

_Ryan leaned his forehead against Mike's. "You might be better, but you're still in a lot of pain and I don't want you to use this-", he gestured with his hands. "-to distract yourself from what you're really feeling. Believe me, I've been there, I've done exactly that and it has never done me any good."_

_Mike let out a sigh. "I don't wanna wait forever."_

"_Neither do I," Ryan reassured him. "I just want to wait for the right moment."_

"_The right moment?" Mike repeated, looking up at him. "When's the right moment?"_

_A small smile tucked at the corners of Ryan's mouth. "You'll know when you're ready, trust me."_

"_Can I stay with you tonight regardless?" Mike asked._

_Ryan pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. "Yes, of course."_

_Together they slid back under the covers and Ryan turned off the light. He rolled to the side and when Mike did the same he hugged him from behind. He placed one of his arms around his hip and the other underneath his head, feeling one of Mike's hands slide over his and entwine their fingers._

"_You remember when I told you about my dad and me not talking to each other?" Mike asked into the silence._

_Ryan instinctively slid closer to him. "Yeah, of course I remember."_

"_I haven't told you everything," Mike admitted. "He didn't get what I was going through most of the time and he definitely didn't understand what I felt after I got kidnapped by Roderick, but that wasn't the main reason why we had problems."_

"_What was the main reason?" Ryan asked carefully. He didn't want to pressure Mike into telling him something he didn't want to, but he felt like Mike was ready to open up._

"_He caught me with my first boyfriend back then when I was just twenty," Mike explained, causing Ryan to flinch uncontrollably. He wasn't sure what he had expected to hear, but definitely not Mike basically coming out to him._

"_So you're gay?" His voice was raspier than he intended and his heart was beating heavily against his ribcage._

"_No, I mean-" Mike sighed. "I'm sure I'm bisexual, but the first time I really fell in love was with a guy. We had been college room-mates and remained friends and one summer he came visiting me and things just happened. My father walked in on us making out on the bed and he didn't talk to me for months after that. I think he couldn't deal with it and our relationship had been strained since then. It was better when I was with Nathalie. He even told me once that he was glad that I'd overcome this phase." Mike let out a shaky breath. "I tried to explain to him that it was't just a phase and that it could happen again, but he wouldn't listen. I disappointed him, Ryan. He even told me that I'm not what he expected me to be."_

"_Mike-", Ryan whispered, making Mike turn around so he could face him. Leaning forward he captured his lips in a gentle kiss, pulling Mike into a tight embrace._

"_You're a wonderful person and I can't imagine he didn't know that... I'm really sorry you had to go through this and if I had known you back then I would definitely have tried talking to him."_

"_I appreciate that," Mike gave back, clinging to Ryan. "You know, he died thinking I'm a failure. I just wish he could have seen me for what I am and now it's too late to make amends."_

"_Oh Mike," Ryan said, incapable of finding the right words in that very moment. Mike's pain hit him deep in the heart and there was nothing he could say that would make anything better. He would love to tell Mike that his father probably hadn't meant what he had said, but he couldn't. Because he had no idea if it was the truth. He had never met the guy and it was quite possible that he had indeed died being disappointed in Mike, even though there wasn't really a reason for feeling that way._

"_I'm sorry," Mike murmured, obviously trying to fight back the tears. "I really didn't mean to unload all of that on you, it's just…"_

"_Shhh…" Ryan interrupted him, placing two fingers on his lips. "It's okay, Mike. You can tell me everything, no matter what it is. I'm here for you."_

_Pressing his face against Ryan's chest Mike nodded. "Thank you."_

They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, their bodies entangled in each other. The next day when Ryan had opened his eyes Mike had been gone and when they had seen each other again, things – again – had been just the way they used to be. As if the previous night had never happened. And Ryan just couldn't figure Mike out. It was frustrating sometimes. Because Ryan didn't know what to think about it anymore.

It had been two weeks since the funeral and nothing had happened between them anymore since then. It was like Mike had been taking a step back. Or maybe it was him this time who had changed his mind. Mike was still living here with Ryan, sleeping on the couch, while he could have easily slipped into bed with him more than once. Max hadn't spent the night here since the funeral, so there was no one to disturb them, no one to find out about them, and still Mike had pulled back completely.

Maybe Ryan's second rejection had been one too many.

But he had tried to explain to Mike why he couldn't sleep with him and he had thought Mike had understood. But maybe he hadn't. Maybe he was still hurt. Maybe he really thought that Ryan didn't want him. Maybe that was the reason it seemed like Mike was going after Max now.

Ryan had heard them talking the other day, basically flirting with each other. He had been in his office, but he had still heard them.

"_You don't have to tell us where you are, okay? But you don't have to lie about it either." – "Wait a minute. You were worried about me?"_

Ryan had seen the smile on Max' face when she had passed by his office and he couldn't deny that it had stung. Maybe it didn't mean anything, maybe it was just Mike's approach of finding his way back to himself, but Ryan knew that he didn't like whatever was going on between those two. It was probably stupid to be jealous of his own niece, especially considering that he had never been the jealous type at all, but Mike had changed his life so drastically and Ryan didn't want him to slip away. He didn't want him to slip through his fingers in front of his eyes just because he was too stupid to admit to the fact that something was going on between them. Something that couldn't be explained with two friends offering each other comfort in a difficult time. It was a lot more than that and deep down he knew it.

Suddenly there was the sound of a door being opened and then shut and then there were footsteps walking towards the living room. Ryan sat up just in time to see Mike coming in, with just a towel around his hips and otherwise most likely naked. The sight made his mouth dry and he had to swallow hard. Mike was completely lost in his thought and obviously didn't even notice that he wasn't alone. He just walked past Ryan to where his bag was laying on the ground. Bending down he grabbed a t-shirt and jeans before he pulled away his towel and that was when Ryan couldn't take it any longer. Mike was standing with his back to him, so he couldn't see everything, but enough that it made his whole body fill with heat.

Clearing his throat Mike jumped back startled, and then he turned around. "RYAN!" he literally screamed, pressing a hand against his chest. "You scared the hell out of me."

Ryan tried his best to keep his gaze focused on Mike's eyes, but it was a difficult task. Especially because the guy he had been dreaming about for weeks, the guy he kept of thinking whenever he wasn't with him was now standing right in front of him, within spitting distance. And he was completely naked. He just had to reach out and he could touch him, could touch the short curls on his chest and the soft skin that probably laid underneath it. "I'm-I'm sorry, Mike. I thought I was alone," Ryan replied, his voice deep and husky. His heart was beating rapidly and his emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

"Me too," Mike admitted. Clumsily he slid into his jeans and pulled up the zipper before he got into his t-shirt. "I thought you were busy talking to Dr. Strauss."

"I was," Ryan gave back. "And he actually gave me some great advice how to lure Joe out. I already talked to Carrie."

"Carrie Cooke?" Mike asked with a strange tone in his voice. When he sat down on one of the armchairs next to the couch, he avoided Ryan's gaze. Ryan couldn't help but feel like he was missing something here, even though he had no idea what it was.

"Yes. Why?"

"Nothing," Mike hurriedly said. "I just noticed you're spending a lot of time with her lately. Is it serious?"

"What?" Ryan blurted out, staring at Mike dumbfounded. "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

Mike shrugged. "You don't have to pretend like nothing's going on just because you wanna spare my feelings. I'm not a fragile little kid and I've been rejected before, I'm not gonna kill myself just because you don't want me."

"Woah, wait!" Ryan interrupted him energetically. "Slow down, Mike, because I still have no clue what you think is going on, but I can assure you, you're completely wrong."

The way Mike was talking to him sounded like he really thought Ryan had hooked up with Carrie Cooke, and if that was the case it explained a lot. It definitely explained why Mike had withdrawn from him so much. It made a lot of sense that he would if he thought Ryan had found someone else to be happy with, but it wasn't true. And did Mike really think Ryan wasn't decent enough that he would tell him if something like that happened? Especially with everything that had been going on between them.

Getting off the chair Mike walked towards the counter, standing there with his back turned on Ryan. "I've seen the way she hugged you when we saved her from Dr. Strauss."

"She was relieved," Ryan said out loud. "Wouldn't you be?" He got to his feet as well and followed Mike. "You _really_ think I would do that to you?"

"I don't know what the fuck I should think anymore," Mike shouted. When he turned around Ryan could see his eyes were shining. As if he was trying his best not to cry. "She was here the other night. I saw her leave your apartment. What am I supposed to think?"

"God, Mike! Why can't you just trust me?" Ryan asked exasperated. "And why didn't you just ask me what happened? I would have told you."

"Because I was scared," Mike admitted. "I was so fucking scared that if I did you would tell me that you changed your mind about us and that you wanna be with Carrie now."

"So instead you distance yourself from me and make me feel like _you_ are the one that changed his mind," Ryan stated matter-of-factly. "And to top it, you start flirting with my niece, making me feel like I was right that first night you kissed me. That you really just searched for comfort and it didn't mean anything to you."

"Wait, what?" Mike stared at Ryan. "I never flirted with Max."

"Yes, you did," Ryan disagreed. "I heard you two talking and I thought that maybe you realized it's her you want, not me."

"That's bullshit!" Mike blurted out. "You should know that I wouldn't do that."

"Just like you should know that I wouldn't just hook up with Carrie, or anyone else for that matter," Ryan replied. He couldn't completely hide the disappointment in his voice, but at the same time he was also relieved. Because he felt like their conversation could lead to something. It was the first time in days they were talking so openly, and it felt good, it was liberating. "When I told you that I wanted to wait for the right moment I didn't mean the right moment to get rid of you. I've never lied to you, Mike, and I won't start now."

"So nothing happened between you and Carrie?" Mike asked, looking deep into Ryan's eyes.

Ryan sighed. "No, nothing that matters." He hadn't really planned on telling Mike about the evening Carrie had come over, but he felt like Mike needed to hear it. "You really wanna know what happened?"

Mike nodded, not breaking the eye-contact.

"Carrie tried to kiss me. She obviously thought there was something going on between us, or maybe she just wanted to seduce me to get her story going, I have no idea. What happened is that I pushed her away the moment I felt her lips on mine. And then I told her that there was someone else and that I'm not going to risk anything for meaningless sex. I'm not a cheater."

Taking a step towards Mike, Ryan lifted one of his hands and gently placed it on Mike's cheek.

"Have you any idea what you're doing to me, Mike?" he whispered. "Even when I'm with a beautiful woman like Carrie, all I can think about is you. Every time you walk out that door I'm scared that you're not coming back. You've turned my world upside down and you've made me question everything I believed in, and if I wasn't such a decent guy I probably would have been all over you weeks ago. I just want you to be sure that this is what you want."

"Then you're an idiot," Mike said, leaning forward until his nose was touching Ryan's. "Because I told you weeks ago that I'm sure I want this. You just didn't believe it."

"I believe it now," Ryan replied hoarsely. His free hand snaked around Mike's waist and pulled him close until their bodies were pressed flat against each other.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Mike whispered, his breath tickling Ryan's skin.

And that was all Ryan needed to hear. Plunging forward their lips met in a heated, longing kiss, and it was like in that very moment all hell broke lose. All resistance Ryan still had, disappeared into nothingness and all his doubts faded away. He wanted this. He wanted Mike. More than anything else in the world.

Pressing Mike against the counter Mike's arms reached behind him to find some kind of hold. With this gesture he accidently pushed down a glass pot filled with water which landed on the floor with a loud clatter, breaking into countless little pieces.

"Oh Shit, 'm sorry," Mike murmured in between two kisses, letting go of Ryan's lips. "We should probably-"

He didn't get much further, because Ryan had already captured his lips in another passionate kiss.

"No. No, we shouldn't," he refused. He pulled Mike away from the mess they had made and towards his bedroom door, while their lips were still connected. Suddenly Mike pressed him against the wall in the hallway with such a force that Ryan's shoulder hit the frame of one of the pictures hanging there, making it shatter on the floor just like the pot before.

Ryan couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips. "We should probably get to my bedroom before we completely wreck my apartment. It seems like you're in a hurry."

"Look who's talking," Mike gave back breathlessly. "You're the one that's doing this to me. I waited weeks for this to happen, I'm not letting you get away again."

"Who said I want to get away?" Ryan asked, demonstratively grabbing the hem of Mike's shirt and pulling it over his head so he could finally get his hands on the soft skin underneath it. He pressed his palms against Mike's chest, while leaning forward and capturing Mike's earlobe between his teeth. The low moan that was leaving Mike's throat sent electrifying shivers down his spine. The blood rushed directly into his crotch, making him harder than he felt like he had been in a very long time. Mike's hips snapped forward and Ryan noticed immediately that Mike was just as aroused as he was.

To be so close to another man should probably scare Ryan – or at least make him a little nervous since it was the first time he did something like that – but somehow it didn't. Instead it made him want Mike even more, although he wasn't completely sure if he would be able to go all the way. Yes, he knew the basics of gay sex, he knew how things went down generally speaking, but having an idea about it and actually doing it were two different things.

He must have been kind of absent, because all of a sudden Mike pulled back, looking at him. "You okay?" he asked perceptively, making Ryan's heart swell with love for the guy.

"Of course. How could I not?"

His hands found Mike's cheeks again and he leaned forward, crashing their lips together in another fervent kiss. Mike's arms slid around his hips and then they were moving again, finally reaching Ryan's bedroom door. Ryan fumbled with the doorknob and finally managed to turn it around so the door sprung open and they could walk in. It only took a couple of seconds until Ryan's ankles hit the bed frame and when they did he felt a push against his chest. Losing his balance Ryan landed on the mattress, pulling Mike with him. Their lips were literally glued to each other, making it harder to breath with every second. Instinctively, Ryan spread his legs to give Mike better access and when he did and Mike finally sank down on him it made Ryan shiver. Feeling the hardness of Mike's erection rubbing against his thigh set Ryan's whole body on fire and he had to pull back to get some air back into his lungs.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Mike stated.

Unlike Ryan he was obviously still able to use his brain for thinking and Ryan had to admit that he was right. While the only piece of clothing Mike still had on his body was the jeans he had hurriedly slid into before, he himself had remained in his pullover, shirt and pants. He hadn't even gotten rid of his shoes yet.

"So… what do you suggest I should do about it?" Ryan asked hoarsely. When he sat up Mike inevitably landed in his lap, his ass rubbing against the bulge in Ryan's already way too tight jeans. Ryan couldn't hold back the moan leaving his lips, feeling his cheeks heat up. He was so horny and he just wanted more of this, more or Mike.

"I suggest I'll help you," Mike gave back, and with one swift move he had pulled Ryan's pullover over his head, together with his t-shirt. "That's better." Leaning forward, Mike pressed his lips against Ryan's hungrily while his hands slid down Ryan's chest until they reached Ryan's jeans. And then Ryan could feel Mike's skilful fingers opening the button of his jeans and pulling down the zipper. Another moan rolled over Ryan's lips and he wrapped both of his arms around Mike's body to hold him close, making it impossible for Mike to do anything more. He needed a moment, or he would cream his boxers like a schoolboy. The mere thought that it was only a matter of minutes, maybe seconds, until Mike's hands would touch him down there made his breath catch in his throat and his stomach flutter nervously.

"If I'm too rapturous you gotta tell me, Ryan, because it-it's been a while and I've dreamed about this for so long. I might not be able to think clearly for much longer," Mike confessed, looking at him with so much want in his eyes that it drove Ryan crazy with desire.

"You're perfect," he gave back. "It's perfect." Sinking back down onto the mattress Ryan turned them around so he was now on top of Mike before he pulled back completely and got up. Mike leaned on his elbows, his eyes meeting Ryan's. He didn't say anything, just watched patiently for what Ryan would do now.

Standing in front of the bed Ryan kicked off his shoes before he slipped out of his socks. His next move was to hook his hands underneath the waistband of his jeans and push them down, so they sank to his ankles and he could step out of them. His eyes were locked with Mike's the whole time and even though he was still nervous as hell, he also knew this was exactly what he wanted.

When he was about to get rid of his shorts, Mike finally broke the silence. "Wait," he instructed Ryan. He got to his feet and took a step towards Ryan so he was standing right in front of him, his hands grabbing Ryan by the waist. "Let me." His voice was barely a whisper now and when his hands slid underneath the waistband of the last remaining clothing Ryan couldn't prevent the shudder that was running through his body. He felt the silky fabric glide down his legs and got out of it. He had to close his eyes for a moment, and even then he could feel Mike's eyes wandering over his body. It was the first time Mike saw him completely naked and Ryan wasn't sure if Mike liked what he saw. His body was far from perfect and there were a lot of scars everywhere on his skin, bearing witness to all the awful things he had been through since Joe Carroll had walked into his life. It wasn't very sexy, but it was a part of him.

"You're beautiful," he heard Mike say, snapping his eyes open and staring at him. "What?" – "You're beautiful," Mike repeated. "And I wanna touch you."

Ryan swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat. "Then what are you waiting for?" he asked, and that was obviously all the confirmation Mike had needed. Slumping forward he captured Ryan's mouth in a rough kiss, and all Ryan could do was wrap his arms around him and return the kiss with the same need. Their tongues plundered each other's mouths, exploring each other in a way they had never done before.

Ryan could feel Mike fumble with his jeans in between their bodies, and pushed his hands away so he could help him the same way Mike had just helped him: by opening the button and pulling the zipper down so he could push the disturbing piece of clothing out of the way. Mike stepped out of it before turning back towards Ryan, looking up at him for a brief moment. Without warning, Mike lunged against him, pushing his body so hard against Ryan's that Ryan almost lost his balance, but managed to keep them both on their feet. Before he knew what was happening he felt Mike turn them around and with another shove against his chest he found himself in the same position he had been when they had entered his bedroom, on his back with Mike being all over him.

Once again Ryan spread his legs and this time there was nothing between them anymore; just skin on skin. The realization hit Ryan like a flash and when Mike rocked his hips into Ryan's, all Ryan could do was cling to him like a drowning man clutching a straw. Instinctively he wrapped his legs around Mike's waist, feeling Mike grind against him. He shifted his hips, sliding his more-than-interested cock against Mike's, while his fingernails dug into the soft skin on Mike's shoulder blades. Over and over again Mike moved against Ryan's body, obviously knowing exactly what he was doing. Even though it wasn't what Ryan thought they would be doing, it was enough to bring him closer to the edge with each new thrust. Gasping, Ryan shifted into the rhythm of Mike's hips so they ground against each other. A hoarse moan from his throat echoed around them before being drowned out by Mike's lips on his. The sound of their bodies sliding against each other filled the room and in this very moment Ryan felt like they were the only two people in the world. No one else existed anymore, there was just him and Mike.

One look into Mike's eyes and Ryan knew he had made the right decision. This was what he wanted, what he had probably wanted for a long time without realizing it. This was what made him happy, and even though he still didn't fully understand how he could have fallen so head over heels in love with Mike, Mike was probably the best thing that could have happened to him. Because he understood him in a way no one else did. Because they didn't need words to know what the other was thinking. They had something special and it had taken Ryan long enough to recognize that. He would not lose Mike again. He would protect him, with his life if necessary.

All of a sudden Ryan felt one of Mike's hands slide in between their bodies, his fingers wrapping around Ryan's erection. "Fuck, yes!" Ryan almost screamed in pleasure. Gripping the sheets he arched upwards, into Mike's hand, wanting as much friction as possible in that very moment. Mike ran his thumb over the head of his aching cock and Ryan knew it wouldn't take much longer. Not with Mike touching him like that.

Sucking in a breath, Ryan forced himself to open his eyes and look at Mike who was looking right back at him. "Mike." His name rolled over his lips like a prayer. He wanted to say so much in this moment, but his mind was blank. He couldn't form any complex thoughts, much less put into words what he was feeling right now, but he obviously didn't have to.

"I know," Mike gave back gently. "I got you, Ryan. I got you," he coaxed in a low, rumbling voice.

Mike's hand wrapped around both of their cocks and then Mike was thrusting up again, their erections rubbing against each other. It was intoxicating. Their bodies were covered in sweat and seeing Mike like this was probably the most beautiful thing Ryan had ever witnessed. His skin was shimmering in the wan light of the room and his eyes were squeezed shut. Even without saying it Ryan knew that Mike was just as close to the edge as he was and he had barely touched him. He would make it up to him later, because right now all he wanted to do was let go.

Ryan's body started to tighten up, and he felt like he was on fire. "Mike," he hissed. With another few movements, he jerked in place and yelled as he came, the hot liquid smearing between them with each pulse as he cried out each time, nearly delirious with pleasure.

He could feel Mike thrust against him two, three more times before he followed him over the edge. Mike came with a shout that was loud enough to drown out every other sound in the room, and then collapsed on top of Ryan. They were both breathing heavily and for a moment there Ryan wasn't sure if he was awake or asleep. He couldn't believe that this had really just happened and for the first time in a while he could say without a doubt that he was truly happy.

Wrapping his arms around Mike's body all Ryan wanted was to lay there and enjoy the aftermath. Mike's head rested on his chest and his weight was pressing down on Ryan; in a good way. It made him feel complete. It made him feel like he was right where he belonged.

Ryan had no idea how much time had passed when Mike finally pushed up and kissed him lazily. A kiss that was nothing like the kisses they had shared before anymore. It was soft, and sweet, and gentle. It was lips touching and moving against each other and a hand caressing his cheek. If Ryan still had any doubts about what there was between them, this proved clearly that it wasn't just physical. That whatever it was, it was something real, something genuine. Something they could build on.

Rolling around with him so he was on top again Ryan looked down at Mike. He couldn't stop smiling, something that hadn't happened in a long time, since Claire probably. And Mike smiled back at him, which made Ryan feel even better. He was completely in love with this smile. A smile he hadn't seen in quite some time. That he was the reason Mike looked so happy made the whole situation even better.

"Thank you, Mike," Ryan whispered, his nose touching Mike's. "Thanks for this." – "So does this mean we're going to be something?" Mike asked, one of his hands finding Ryan's cheek again. "Yes," Ryan confirmed. "Yes, we are. I'm not going to let you walk out of my life ever again." – "I don't plan on doing so," Mike gave back lifting his head so their lips were only inches apart. "You're stuck with me now." And then he kissed Ryan again and all Ryan could do was melt into the kiss.

Everything was said between them and Ryan could finally look into the future positively. Because he knew Mike would be by his side. They would bring down Joe Carroll and Lily Gray and then they could finally start living. Together. They would finally have a life.


End file.
